I recently met a very interesting lady called Elaine in my local park whilst walking with my beloved Annie the dog. She told me that she was a time traveller and was here at this very specific moment in all of the known and unknown universe in order to say hello to Annie and give her a stroke (and a treat). I told Elaine that it was refreshing to finally meet a time traveller whose mission was something so worthwhile. As we carefully crafted our steps Elaine seemed fascinated by Annie alongside the natural wildlife and day to day monotony that surrounded us. An over-fed seagull gorging on a littered big-mac, random shoes strewn over an electric wire, the distinct smell of freshly smoked weed in the air - the comings and goings of what I would consider to be an average day on planet earth. I asked Elaine did anything exist in the future or was she just a figment of my imagination. That was when I got abducted by the Welsh government and then bundled onto a (17 minutes late) 'Transport For Wales' train to Maesteg which arrived the very next day (only just). Not that I was drugged during this curious experience but I threw up a lot on that 'vomit express'. I couldn't stop thinking about Elaine and what the future may hold. Elaine's 'now' appeared so obviously inevitable yet impossible to imagine. I became obsessed with my thoughts, but thankfully Annie (the dog) had stayed with me the whole time and (thanks to her intensive training when she was a puppy) had very wisely hailed a taxi to get us home safely to bed... 


I started to believe that 'now' was the future (and possibly the past) and that every moment was something that could have and may soon happen. I adopted a peculiar walking style, I became a lot more reliant on my sense of smell and mirrors no longer reflected what I was seeing. Not wishing to appear 'boring' I began searching for rotary dial style telephones. I posted an advert on my fridge and waited for nice people to knock my door. 


At this point I recognised that I should have paused in order to judge other people for their regular behaviour, considered assumptions and conformity but I was too fixated on what I believed to be an intense acceptance of nothingness. I started to realise that this was indeed Elaine's answer to my question. It was neither good nor bad. It was nothing yet everything. It was an unreal reality of which my faith should be invested in. To this day I continue to bury unknown items in summoning cartons with an impassioned yet futile hope that Elaine may never return. 


Before writing this piece I set a timer. I noticed that I do not understand the passing of time at all which caused me to frown via singular and sporadic belly derived honking tones that shot clear from my mouth. I have scratched my head several times and resentfully enjoyed the sensation and sipped ice cold water from a majestic vessel of containment. But if I am to step outside the regularity of anything and into the realm of nothingness I must accept the abandonment of understanding.

I met a time traveller!

Thank you Elaine